Mother divides opinion after revealing her husband wants her to work full-time
Mother who works 30 hours a week divides opinion after revealing her ‘pushy’ husband is badgering her to go back to full time
Mother-of-two revealed she refused to return to full-time work after having kids She said she would soon be increasing her working hours to four days a weekIs hesitant to go full-time because it allows her to spend more time with childrenHowever husband is constantly badgering her to work more to earn more money
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A mother-of-two has divided opinion after revealing she refuses to return to full-time work despite her ‘pushy’ husband constantly badgering her about ‘just working 30 hours’.
The unnamed British woman explained that she hasn’t returned to full-time work as a nurse specialist after having her youngest son, four, but will soon be working four days a week after being promoted
Taking to Mumsnet, the mother said her husband, who works as part of a senior leadership team in a school, is incessantly asking her to return to full-time, even though they’re comfortably living on their joint £4,000 monthly earnings.
She said that her husband brings home £850 more than her per month – claiming the income increase would be minimal if she were to go full-time.
Another reason the mum is hesitant is because she believes having one day off a week will offer more flexibility and allow her to spend more time with her children, aged four and eight.
A mother-of-two has divided opinion after revealing she refuses to return to full-time work despite her ‘pushy’ husband constantly badgering her about ‘just working 30 hours’ (stock image)
The mum said she worked full time before the birth of her second son and then reduced her hours to 25 a week, over three days.
She explained that with her husband working full time they were earning just under £4,000 per month which she considers to be a ‘comfortable amount’ that gives the family ‘a nice lifestyle’.
The mum, who is set to be promoted later this year, said her hours are due to increase to 30 per week, meaning their joint pay will go up to just under £5,000 a month.
Working part-time, the mum brings home around half of her husband’s salary – which with her imminent pay increase will mean she receives £850 less than her husband per month.
While she acknowledged that going full-time would lessen their pay disparity, she believes that with vast tax and pension increases the difference will not be that tangible.
While the mother is comfortable with the new role, which will mean working on four days, her husband is ‘being really pushy’ about working full time as opposed to ‘just working 30 hours’.
Taking to Mumsnet , the mother said her husband was incessantly asking her to return to full-time work, despite the couple earning a joint salary of £4,000 per month
She explained that having a day off in the week would give flexibility to change her working hours should there be an appointment or one of her children is unwell – however her husband wasn’t convinced.
‘I will still be doing 30 hours a week, so it’s hardly like I will be a lady of leisure at home whilst the children are at school and whilst he works’, she said.
The mother says that while her husband’s hours mean he’s home by 4pm most days, her work day does not usually end until 6.30pm – meaning she wouldn’t have much time with her kids in the evening if she worked full time.
She also noted that because her husband works in a school he is able to spend quality time with their children during the long holiday periods and that he often takes their children to sporting events on the weekends.
I’ said that I just want to be able to spend at least one day in the week to see my children, and to be able to collect them from school and have some quality time with them, as opposed to not getting home until an hour before their bedtime every night’, she wrote.
‘He’s just keeps pushing it though.
Working part-time, the mum brings home around half of her husband’s salary – which with her imminent pay increase will mean she receives £850 less than her husband per month
‘I don’t understand why, for the sake of me working 7.5 hours less than full time, he would begrudge me wanting to spend more time with the children.’
While the mum understands increasing her hours would mean more money, she feels the family are perfectly comfortable financially and she prioritises spending time with her kids.
‘My husband is very money focused though and instead of thinking about how comfortable we already are, and will be even more come August, he just keeps saying “But think how much more money we would have if you went full time”, she wrote.
She said that her promotion will increase their joint monthly income from £4,000 to nearly £5,000, but he wants more.
‘His priority is money whereas mine just isn’t, especially when the children are so young,’ she said.
Users were divided over the mother’s situation, with some accusing the father of being ‘jealous’ of the mum for having more free time – while others said her children were too old for her not to be working full time
‘He brings it up all the time and it usually ends up in a mini argument where we just go round in circles.’
The mum also worried that she would resent her husband if she were forced to go to work five days a week and spend less time with her children.
She wrote: ‘It feels like I did the majority of care during the difficult years, doing all the mental load and housework, just experiencing the general tedium of being at home with young children etc and now that things are getting easier now the children are older I’m being shoved back into full time work whilst he gets to spend all the time with the children.’
‘It just sucks a bit.’
Users were divided over the mother’s situation, with some accusing the father of being ‘jealous’ of the mum for having more free time – while others said her children were too old for her not to be working full time.
‘Sorry but I’m with your husband on this, with children that age I would expect you to be full time too really. Weekends are there for quality time with the children’, wrote one viewer.
Some users warned that the situation could build resentment between the mother and her husband
‘I do think that if one partner is going to be working less, then the other needs to agree’, said another.
A third wrote: ‘Resentment can easily build if he earns a lot more and he perceives you not wanting to contribute more evenly financially by doing that extra day? It’s just compounded by the fact he is a teacher whereas you are obviously not so you don’t get the school holidays with them? Unfortunately that’s just life.’
Another said that it’s all about fairness and that they should both work full time and pay for chores such as cleaning to be done.
‘What each parent earns matters,’ she argued. ‘Since you earn less than him, going full time and having a joint pot to outsource chores and would be the fairest way here.
‘If he’s working full time to earn the max that he can in that role, and feels that [his wife] should do the same, then that’s reasonable. As long as the housework and childcare is equally split or if outsourced then each parent should contribute to that pro rata.’
